So I’ve come to the realization that during class, while my teacher is talking, I often feel like this:
Honestly. I just feel like what. What did you just say? Did you really just say that. What. What. What. Why can’t I just say what I want?
So, in an attempt to entertain the masses, I’m going to make my guide to what teachers say, and what students think it means.
Teacher: “Analyze the text you read last night.”
Student: “Reading. Oh. Yeah I just sparknoted that.” “Analyze: Oh you mean look at this stuff as if I were dissecting a frog. And when we have to write that big essay about this novel, I just kinda write whatever sounds good in an hour. And then just finish and turn it in at 3:00 AM.”
I just realized that now a lot of Internet turning in sites for school show the time you turn things in. Oh. So when I turn this in at 12:30 my teacher will be like:
“12:30. Really. Is this going to be red-bull induced writing of random things. Looks like it’s time to bring out the F stamp.”
Student: “Yeah pretty much. I think it’s pretty good though. It has some concrete details and Englishy stuff. So, uh, I still deserve an A. Because I tried.”
Teacher: “Just do this one last problem, if you do it well enough, I’ll let you be done.”
Student: “Sooooo do it 20 times until you finally give up on me and wish that I wasn’t apart of this idiot internet generation. Got it.”
Teacher on the first day of school: “Okay! For your homework today, please fill out this About Me paper! I want to learn more about you.”
Student: “Why. Why can’t you just stalk my facebook like a normal person?”
On the About Me (These are actual questions from an about me I did. I kid you not):
“Where’s your favorite local place to get breakfast burritos? Where do you like to get pho? Favorite food local food places?”
Student: “I guess I’m not the only one who does their work at 2 AM. Wait. Why do they want to know this. This is weird. Now if I go to my favorite places I might see them there. Ugh. Weird. Awkward.”
As of recent:
Teacher: “Follow me on Twitter! Go join Thinglink! Go use Storify! Make a Gmail! Google docs is my life! I LOVE THE INTERNET!!!!!!!!!!”
Student: “Well. I guess those things aren’t cool anymore. Wait. Why does my teacher know more technological websites then me. What. Honestly how.”
Goodbye for now!
(Hope you enjoyed this silly post. For more things check out My Adventure Book!)